My World Domination Plans Begin As Follows...

thevolutionofnerdy:

deaneggsandsam:

no but could you imagine one of the quidditch team members saying “knock on wood” and they all just hit oliver before a big match

I’m almost a thousand percent sure the Weasley twins did that at some point

(via mag-a-rit)

roachpatrol:

cuteness-daily:

mintmayhem:

 THE ONE IN THE WHITE TOWEL THOUGH

Purritos

PURRITOS

roachpatrol:

cuteness-daily:

mintmayhem:

 THE ONE IN THE WHITE TOWEL THOUGH

Purritos

PURRITOS

(Source: kitten-burrito, via molly-hayes-for-president)

tall-dark-n-creepy:

dajo42:

whenever somebody says like “so what did you do today?” just look off into the distance and say “the right thing”

Then stare right into their eyes and say, “I hope”

(via shepardofthenormandy)

high-school-fling:

spicy-vagina-tacos:

freezerburnt-capsicle:

dontbeanassbutt:

boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful

jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow

penis

thanks for your contribution

(via shepardofthenormandy)

purex:

i just walked past 2 construction dudes and one of em just said “i don’t think they’re right-handed or left-handed. they’re just dogs.”

(via mag-a-rit)

brokenwingsflyingaway:

brokenwingsflyingaway:

brokenwingsflyingaway:

can i tell my math teacher i’m atheist and can’t solve exponential functions due to the fact that i don’t believe in higher powers or

this is probably the funniest thing i’ve ever said or will ever say

this is my time to shine

(via heather-xavier-lehnsherr)

chandigarhia:

please unmute this vine

(via weary-cosmonaut)

agentmlovestacos:

There is no greater Guardians/Parks & Rec gif mashup than this.

via chrisisoninfiniteearths:

Fantastic.

(Source: msfili, via swaggermetimbers)

nostopdasgay:

hiddenintherockofages:

Chicago is a….
A) State
B) City
C) Country
D) Continent

*sweats nervously*

E) Great Musical

(via fictionalportal)

boomsticks-and-firewater:

puellamagidolaon:

lovrdlogic:

When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you

Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.

Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.

(via eclecticbluejay)

crabbyjammies:

capitalistpropaganda:

"what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll be TOO cool?" I say as I strap the rocket blasters to my heelys

(Source: walmarts, via smaug-official)

treadmill-to-oblivion:

Optical illusions can keep kitty occupied for hours!

treadmill-to-oblivion:

Optical illusions can keep kitty occupied for hours!

(Source: mlkshk.com, via smaug-official)